Denaby Neetmare by Benny Wilkinson

Us Mexborough lads were allus taught,
tu watch ah pee's an queues.
en niver gu through Denaby,
un-less we went in two's.
them words wer fruro mi Fatha,
en the made mi blood run cowd.
dunt mess abart et Denaby ses he
or thall not grow very owd.

Keep away and dunt go near,
they'll mek mince meat ah'ta thee.
Them Denaby lad's dunt mess abaght,
why, they'll eight thee for their tea.
ah used to wek up on a nete.
wi neetroares of that place,
en what they'd do to poor owd me.
cos a wer'nt a Denaby face.

Ah kept well away, ah used me loaf,
tu bi fair, well ah was scared.
av never bin a feightin man,
en tu their ways, not prepared.
et crossing gate ah used tu luk,
et that land of feightin men,
en yearned tu wander over thia,
en just be one o them.

En then wen ar grew up a bit,
paid a visit to that tuff town.
on't trackless rode wi heart in mouth,
en prayed it wudn't brek darn.
ah lucked thru winda worried stiff,
et the streets, en Pubs, en Shops.
en folk who (well) just lucked like me,
but ah got scared at the stops.

An then bi God it happened,
the bloody thing brok down.
en thea war mi, a Mexborough lad,
et the mercy of that town.
ar got off trackless artside Drum
mi face wer as white as snow
a gang o lads kern up to me,
en ah waited for furst blow.

What's up owd cock sed biggest one
tha dun't luk well tu me.
ah prayed hi wudn't ask me wee'ar wer frurn
ah wer sure ah wer goo'in to dee.
cum in't Drum en eva pint,
it'll put thee on thi feet.
tha'll eva laff in thee'a owd cock,
dunt tha know its Seturdee Neat.

The wer blokes in thee'a wi colly flower ears,
en sum es broad es doo'as.
the wer sum just singing songs of owd,
en sum in fancy cloo'as.
ah stud thee'a shekin from hee'ad to fut,
en in panic did rush for the doo'a
en then a big bloke collared me,
e ses, thas just trod on me too'a.

Hi picked me up like some rag doll
en ah thort -thes is it fer mi.
put irn darn, ses a voice in Denaby slang,
or tha can try thi luck wi me
finish the pint hi ses owd cock,
his manna did quell mi fear.
he's a Mexboro bloke, that's just ed thee
but his just ad too much beer.

Well that nete ah learnt mi lesson,
en a new mi father were rong.
for Denaby Folk er just like us
en a pleasure to be among.
na yer musnt tek em for granted,
for its true there feightin men.
But al tel this tha'll tek no harm,
if tha behaves thi sen.